Oh no she didn't!

Last night was just like any other typical Tuesday night at the OB. Lots of yummy food teasing me into almost cheating on my hard earned weight loss. Do you even know the type of will power it takes to avoid Aussie Cheese Fries? Do you? It's like Superman, Incredible Hulk, Ultimate Spiderman will power! It's sooo hard not to just have a little nibble. But I digress. This is not so much about the cheese fries that I have been dutifully ignoring, but rather about the decedent dessert that came before me. The sundae was this: a premium ball of delicious vanilla ice cream, rolled with love in a roasty toasty coconut crust, lay gently on a warm pecan fudge brownie, drizzled with mesmerizing homemade hot fudge, and topped with a small tantalizing scoop of fluffy whip cream. It looked like one huge orgasm in a bowl. Ohhhh....It was absurd to me to find out that this beautiful display of pure naughtiness was a MISTAKE! Can you believe it? The customer had ordered this dessert without the chocolate sauce. Guess what happens when such mistakes are made? The pastry chef puts it on the waitstaff station for ALL to enjoy. I was in the unfortunate position of noticing it first. It's the prized position to be when when such crazy things happen because you get the first bite, free of any other waitstaff germs that eventually come when, like vultures, the starving waitstaff descend upon it. That first bite could be mine! With great bravado I refrained from dipping a spoon into it's warm softness. Oh, I desperately wanted to and I made it known to all how much I wanted to but wasn't going to do it. All night I had been battling the urge to enjoy an aussie chip, cheese fries, fried mushrooms, and the yummiest honey wheat bread ever. This could surely send me over the edge, or give me the strength to go on. I was so proud of myself as I watched the "birds" dive and dig apart their carcass, and I had none. Just then, one of the vultures pulled her silver spoon slowly out of her mouth, making sure to get every last coconut piece with hot fudge. I couldn't help but watch with pure jealousy. She looked me square in my face and giggled out, "I'm so glad I don't have to watch what I eat and worry about getting fat." It was all I could do from lunging at her and scratching her eyeballs out! Oh No! She did not just say that! I relax my muscles, still feeling proud that I didn't give in, and laugh at her naiveness. "Come talk to me after you have kids and your boobs sometimes fall in the toilet!" It's not pretty, but it's me...